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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

New Outlook

My attitude has finally changed. It has taken about 2 years to get to this point, but it has finally happened. Over the last month or so I have noticed that I am finally "at peace" (sorry so cheesy, but honestly, its the only way to explain it) with not being able to get pregnant the way normal people do. I have been bitter that we have to do the different infertility treatments and people who don't even want kids have no problem getting pregnant.
I don't know how to explain what has happened to me but I am so happy my attitude has changed. I hated being the person everyone felt sorry for. They all say they didn't, but I could tell by the way they talked to me about it. I am especially glad that now when someone tells me they're pregnant I don't immediately tell them to f*** off in my head, while pretending that I'm happy for them. I've been saying for the past year, that I know Bubba and I will have a family of our own someday, I just don't know how that will happen....wether it is biologically or through adoption. Honestly, I now truly believe what I've been saying.
We have been looking into adopting and have sent to away to get the paperwork for it. In the meantime, we are waiting on my ins. to see if they will approve further treatments. Either way it will cost a pretty penny. I'm elated right now that I will have a few months off from taking any fertility drugs. I'm looking forward to feeling like "myself" again.

2 Comments:

Blogger Debbie said...

It's good that you have found peace. I think you're going to be a wonderful mother and all of the expenses will be worth it. It's going to be great.

3:47 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Finding that kind of peace is amazing.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for many years and recently tried IVF with no success. I'm hoping to get to the point where I'm ok with not getting pregnant and finally adopt.

good luck with further treatments/adoption.

11:48 AM  

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