Breakdown
Warning: this post will be a rant and pity party...for myself. So, if you don't like to hear people bitch about their lives or feel sorry for themselves, you may not want to read on. This is all this post will be. The point of this post is not to make people feel sorry for me, so please don't think I'm an attention whore. It's simply to get it out there in the universe so I can hopefully move on and continue making people think, myself included, that everything is a-oaky!!
Well, it finally happened. I got my period yesterday and I 100% had a nervous breakdown!! It took a while for this to actually happen...2 years and 4 months, to be exact. For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about....I've been trying to get pregnant for that long. And, obviously, to no avail. What was so different about this month, you may ask yourself? Well, I actually thought that this month would be THE month. Obviously, I was wrong. I had myself convinced of it. It seemed like everything was finally in my favor and the stars were finally aligned correctly for me. I am honestly at the point where I just want to give up trying. It's just not in the cards for me to be a mom. I just need to go on with my life and accept it. I am sick of having to give myself a pep talk to remain positive, everything will work itself out blah,blah,blah. Why can't I be one of those people where things come easily to them??? I have learned that I am not emotionally capable to deal with this shit. Therefore, I am seriously thinking I'm done. I even cancelled my appt. today with the acupuncturist. I'm too pissed and disappointed. If I went today, I would have wanted to tell her where she could stick her damn needles and herbs! You also may be asking yourself...why don't you go to a regualr doctor instead of an acupuncturist? I did and the drugs they gave me turned me into the exorcist.
Anyhow, I just needed to vent my frustrations instead of staying in bed all day feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow is a new day....right?
Warning: this post will be a rant and pity party...for myself. So, if you don't like to hear people bitch about their lives or feel sorry for themselves, you may not want to read on. This is all this post will be. The point of this post is not to make people feel sorry for me, so please don't think I'm an attention whore. It's simply to get it out there in the universe so I can hopefully move on and continue making people think, myself included, that everything is a-oaky!!
Well, it finally happened. I got my period yesterday and I 100% had a nervous breakdown!! It took a while for this to actually happen...2 years and 4 months, to be exact. For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about....I've been trying to get pregnant for that long. And, obviously, to no avail. What was so different about this month, you may ask yourself? Well, I actually thought that this month would be THE month. Obviously, I was wrong. I had myself convinced of it. It seemed like everything was finally in my favor and the stars were finally aligned correctly for me. I am honestly at the point where I just want to give up trying. It's just not in the cards for me to be a mom. I just need to go on with my life and accept it. I am sick of having to give myself a pep talk to remain positive, everything will work itself out blah,blah,blah. Why can't I be one of those people where things come easily to them??? I have learned that I am not emotionally capable to deal with this shit. Therefore, I am seriously thinking I'm done. I even cancelled my appt. today with the acupuncturist. I'm too pissed and disappointed. If I went today, I would have wanted to tell her where she could stick her damn needles and herbs! You also may be asking yourself...why don't you go to a regualr doctor instead of an acupuncturist? I did and the drugs they gave me turned me into the exorcist.
Anyhow, I just needed to vent my frustrations instead of staying in bed all day feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow is a new day....right?
posted @6:22 PM
6 Comments:
Yes, tomorrow is a new day. And hopefully a better day. Sorry you didn't get the news you were hoping for. But, take heart. I think things unfold as they should. Who knows, maybe once you just let it all go and forget about it and relax, you'll actually get pregnant? (Or does that sound too trite and stupid? I hope not.) I have a friend who got pregnant at age 35, after a lifetime of inconsistent periods and beleiving she could never get pregnant! All hope is not lost! And I hope you feel better soon. :)
oh sweetheart....
it's ok, you'll take a deep breath, relax, and when the time is right for your body, it'll happen (assuming you keep Bubba around!!).
My aunt got pregnant for the first time at 46, and her daughter was the BEAUTIFUL flower girl at my wedding. Email me and I'll send you pictures. It'll happen, and you'll be a fabulous mom. I promise. You'll have kids before me.
Oh, hon. I'm sorry you've been dissapointed for so long.
My solution would be to self-medicate with a Good Humor Ice Cream Drumstick, or, even better, a Choco Taco. But of course, that might not be the best advice...
Hang in there, and I hope it happens to you soon!!
My sister has a six month old, but had to wait a LONG time through open heart surgery and recovery and misscarriage to finally get the little guy here. But she did it. The desire for motherhood is a powerful thing. Try not to worry!!
I'm so sorry. I've heard so many stories of women trying really hard to get pregnanct with no success and then as soon as they stop 'trying' and relax, it happens. Keep your chin up. You'll be a mommy. And a great one.
In the meantime, I agree with theidlereceptionist--you need some ice cream.
Thank you all for your kind words. I am better today.....it is a new day. Time to pick myself up and move on...what else can you do?? Thanks again!
Not to bother you with another story of success after many failed attempts, it took my mom 8 years to get pregnant with my brother... 8 YEARS!!!!
After a complicated labor and delivery, they told her they were going to go ahead and tie her tubes because there was no way she would EVER get pregnant again, and she screamed at them not to...
2 years later she got pregnant with me.
I don't mean to be patronizing by telling you about other people's successes with pregnancy, but i just wanted you to keep your hopes up, because it will happen when it's meant to!
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