FREE ADVICE
Take a shower before you go to the doctor. Not that big of a deal right?? You'd honestly be amazed at how many people DO NOT follow this rule. The reason being....when you leave...the staff is talking about you! We know you didn't take a shower not only by the smell but by the way you're skin has that slimy,oily, sick feel to it. It GROSSES ME OUT!! Take a shower!!!
So, here's the story of WHY you should shower. Yesterday, a BIG man came in for his 3 month check ups. He's young but he is a BIG man....if you get what I'm saying. Nice, nice man too. But, holy shit the stench that radiated off of his very being was almost too much for me to handle!!! I was literally sniffing my armpit, breathing out my mouth etc. so as not to throw up in his lap. The breathing out my mouth didn't work either cuz I just ended up tasting it instead of smelling it. Even worse!!! Now here is what it smelled like....just so you can share in my pain (Kelly don't read any further): Dirty, stinky, sticky choad!!! That's right you read that right.....CHOAD!!(And, I hope I'm spelling that right for Marcia's sake.....don't want her to stop reading) And, I really hope you all know what a choad is....cuz if you don't...well, sorry I'm not goin into those details today. You may all be wondering "how does she know what that smells like?" Here's my defense.....when I was in my young 20's I was very, very, very stupid! I dated a Hell's Angel (yes, you read that right also. Don't believe me? Ask Kelly...she met him). Needless to say, he came back from a "ride", hadn't showered in three days and I was dumb. I allowed him to sleep IN MY BED unshowered!!! He gave some song and dance about how exhausted he was. Like I said, I was very, very, very DUMB!! I obviously still have been unable to erase that smell from my brain cuz when this patient entered the office that memory came floating back into my head. I just want to delete it!!
Anhow, after the patient left I think I emptied a whole can of "Oust" just in the room he was in. Then Febreze on the chair he sat in. And, some more "Oust" throughout the office cuz he stunk the ENTIRE office up of dirty choad!!!
So, here's the story of WHY you should shower. Yesterday, a BIG man came in for his 3 month check ups. He's young but he is a BIG man....if you get what I'm saying. Nice, nice man too. But, holy shit the stench that radiated off of his very being was almost too much for me to handle!!! I was literally sniffing my armpit, breathing out my mouth etc. so as not to throw up in his lap. The breathing out my mouth didn't work either cuz I just ended up tasting it instead of smelling it. Even worse!!! Now here is what it smelled like....just so you can share in my pain (Kelly don't read any further): Dirty, stinky, sticky choad!!! That's right you read that right.....CHOAD!!(And, I hope I'm spelling that right for Marcia's sake.....don't want her to stop reading) And, I really hope you all know what a choad is....cuz if you don't...well, sorry I'm not goin into those details today. You may all be wondering "how does she know what that smells like?" Here's my defense.....when I was in my young 20's I was very, very, very stupid! I dated a Hell's Angel (yes, you read that right also. Don't believe me? Ask Kelly...she met him). Needless to say, he came back from a "ride", hadn't showered in three days and I was dumb. I allowed him to sleep IN MY BED unshowered!!! He gave some song and dance about how exhausted he was. Like I said, I was very, very, very DUMB!! I obviously still have been unable to erase that smell from my brain cuz when this patient entered the office that memory came floating back into my head. I just want to delete it!!
Anhow, after the patient left I think I emptied a whole can of "Oust" just in the room he was in. Then Febreze on the chair he sat in. And, some more "Oust" throughout the office cuz he stunk the ENTIRE office up of dirty choad!!!
posted @6:27 PM
11 Comments:
You just said Choad!!!! I almost hurt myself laughing.
hahahahahahahaha............ Oh Holly. You crack me up.
ok, I don't know what Choad is. Although, I do thank you for not going into it today. From what I've read, I don't think I'm ready to know just yet.
And all I can say is "Yuck, yuk, yuck!". Oh, & eeewwww. Yuk!
BLECH!
And as for showering before the doctor's office, I would think that just goes without saying... but people are gross, so I have no doubt that what you say is true.
The people must know: What is choad? Don't make me google it....
OK, I googled it. We call that "the taint".
I call it either one....choad just sounds so nasty I couldn't resist!!!
HOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS SO GROSS!!!!! Holy crap I said "SICK" outloud and everyone looked at me funny (by the way I'm at Janessas work right now)! Funny stuff!
COME BACK!!! WE MISS YOU!!!!
Well at least I'm not so embarrassed to admit that I don't know what it is either. Is it safe to ask my husband? Because he has a habit of laughing at me when I don't know these things.
Where has all the Holly gone?
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