What The??
So, I've been in a weird mental funk the last few weeks. I've decided to purge my brain by blogging about it. Hoping that I'll stop obsessing about it. Okay, here's the deal. A few weeks ago I called a "long lost friend" who I haven't talked to in about a year and half. We were college roomies and she was my wedding coordinator. She got married at the ripe old age of 19!!! She is still married and has 4 gorgeous kiddies. They've been married for almost 13 years! So, when she heard my voice she says she has sooo much to tell me but her kids were in the car and it wasn't conversation for the kiddies. So, immediately my mind starts going crazy. We play the "I guess and you say yes or no" game. After one guess, I guessed right!! Affair!!! Not just hubby (cuz you know men are scum and they are always the ones who do the bad stuff) but HER TOO!! I almost shit myself when she told me she was just as guilty, if not more so, than him! People, you have to understand that they were the picture perfect family. I know, I know, those are the ones that have ten times more skeletons than the out in the open dysfunctional ones. But, I never thought my perfect friend would be such a dumb ass! Long story short, they're gonna try to work it out.
Now, here's where my funk comes into play. For the time we were able to talk (without kiddies knowing what we're talking about), I of course, wanted to know why and how this happened. She basically said they didn't have anything in common anymore and were spending their "free" time away from each other. To the point, where they couldn't be in the same room together without getting very annoyed with the other. I immediately start thinking of myself (let's be honest, we are all selfish to some degree). What if this happens to me and my Bubba? Will I try to work it out? We don't have much in common either (or at least the same interests)! How can I make sure this will not happen? And, the more I thought about it, I know that the more I try to make it not happen, it will happen!! How do you even get to that point? Where you can't stand the sight of the one you are suppose to love more than anyone else? See! I'm a mess. I don't have any answers either.
My BIL has asked on more than one occasion why it is that married people tend to treat their spouse worse than anyone else. I think its because when you're with one person day in and day out, it can develop more into a brother/sister relationship if you're not careful. I do think that some people that treat their spouse like poo, take advantage of the fact that that person is suppose to love you unconditionally and they think they can get away with it. Maybe this is what happened to my friend. But, again, what can I do to make sure that this doesn't happen to me? I know, I need to stop obsessing about it, chill out, have fun with my Bubba and keep laughing.
Now, completely off that subject....I need a new book to read. Any suggestions?
Now, here's where my funk comes into play. For the time we were able to talk (without kiddies knowing what we're talking about), I of course, wanted to know why and how this happened. She basically said they didn't have anything in common anymore and were spending their "free" time away from each other. To the point, where they couldn't be in the same room together without getting very annoyed with the other. I immediately start thinking of myself (let's be honest, we are all selfish to some degree). What if this happens to me and my Bubba? Will I try to work it out? We don't have much in common either (or at least the same interests)! How can I make sure this will not happen? And, the more I thought about it, I know that the more I try to make it not happen, it will happen!! How do you even get to that point? Where you can't stand the sight of the one you are suppose to love more than anyone else? See! I'm a mess. I don't have any answers either.
My BIL has asked on more than one occasion why it is that married people tend to treat their spouse worse than anyone else. I think its because when you're with one person day in and day out, it can develop more into a brother/sister relationship if you're not careful. I do think that some people that treat their spouse like poo, take advantage of the fact that that person is suppose to love you unconditionally and they think they can get away with it. Maybe this is what happened to my friend. But, again, what can I do to make sure that this doesn't happen to me? I know, I need to stop obsessing about it, chill out, have fun with my Bubba and keep laughing.
Now, completely off that subject....I need a new book to read. Any suggestions?
posted @8:18 PM
4 Comments:
I'm not married, so I lack any real authority on this one, but I think a big part of keeping a relationship from going down the tubes is that while you might not have the same interests AS one another, you both do your very best to maintain a mutual interest IN one another.
Having fun and keeping the laughter going is key as well!
well i have been thinking about it and i think (after only two and a half years of marriage) that you have to "act" interested in the other's interests. with neil i like to go do stuff with him that i may not particularly enjoy, but it shows him that i love and care about him and the things he likes to do. the same goes both ways. this keeps you close, and you get to know each other better at the same time...who knows you may even start to like doing those things!
Keep going out on dates .. at least 2x a month and y'know when you go out by yourself, get him something he likes to show that you thought of him. Basically, do stuff you would do when you were just dating. To keep the romance alive.
As for the books, Tuesdays with Morrie and Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love are both good reads.
Me & my bf don't have everything in common. We've been together 3 yrs so far.
But we have mutual love, respect, & adoration. Plus, we bring our unique interests & viewpoints to the table. It's less boring!
I think you & Bubba are perfect for each other, just from how you've always writen about it all. And it's a good thing that you do get concerned about these things. I think it'd be worse if you didn't.
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