Way Too Serious Around Here
I realize that I have been way too serious lately. That's just not me. So, to break up the monotony of my adoption process (I think about it everyday, several times a day, but you people don't need to) I will give you the funniest poo story of them all. You've missed the poo talk, I know.
This particular story does not involve me, it involves one of my most favoritest people in the whole entire universe. I call her "Ghost". I have to write about her because I miss her so much and I honestly think she may be dead (I'm not kidding), but that's a whole other story for one of my more depressing moods. Since I miss the guts out of her the very first thing that comes to mind is the one I'm gonna share. So, get ready to laugh so hard, snot may come shooting out your nose and hit your screen.
It was New Year's Eve. We were 21. Done with our prowl for the guys. Unsuccessful night. We end our night at a little cafe on PCH in Seal Beach. We're laughing at something, as usual. I see two funny looking guys watching my pal. Which wasn't unusual. Everywhere she went she caught the eye of some guy.....sometimes good guys but often times creepy guys (she didn't know how to be mean and I quickly learned how to be very bitchy and blunt hanging out with her. She didn't have the creepy guy radar). And, of course, they come over to us and want to "get to know us". They end up being very nice guys and my friend actually ended up being head over heels in love with the funnier looking of the two. They end up having a 5 year relationship.
However, at the beginning, just a few weeks to be exact, they got off to an interesting start. Ghost did not have a job when they met so she would go down to San Diego all the time to "hang out" with him. She would be gone for days. She would call me periodically to tell me she was okay etc etc. One day when I was at work I got the following phone call.
Me: "Doctor's ------------- this is Holly, how may I help you?"
Ghost: "Pee! Holy shit! You're not gonna believe what just happened to me!" side note: she calls me "Pee" because that was the first initial of my maiden name. But, when she'd write me a note, bday card whatever she always spelled it p-e-e. She starts crying and laughing at the same time.
"What? Are you alright?"
"Yes. No. I don't know. Things with Nate are over."
Very surprised. "Why? What happened?"
"I'm at the pay phone at 7eleven right now. I can't believe this. Nate was at work and Mike (Nate's roommate) just left to go surfing and I was dying to go poo but I couldn't do that while Mike was there. So, when he left I went into the bathroom to go poo. It was diarrhea. So, I didn't flush often cuz its diarrhea. I go to flush and it over flowed EVERYWHERE!! I went to turn the water thingy off on the toilet and it BROKE!!! It wouldn't stop. Diarrhea and poo particles were everywhere!!!. It went all the way out to the front door and into the kitchen. And, a little bit in their rooms. One of them had board shorts on the floor and now they're soaked in my poo!!"
I'm dying of laughter at this point. I can see it all unfold. Let me just tell you they had the tiniest apt. I have ever seen. I don't know how to convey to you how small it was. It was just small. The whole apt floor was linoleum, no carpet. "What did you do? Did you clean it up or did you just leave?"
"I just started cleaning it up when Mike walked in. He looked at me with utter amazement. I don't think he knew that girls shit until now. He was just standing in the doorway with poo water EVERYWHERE when Nate walked up behind him. I started crying and ran out the door. Now I'm at 7eleven. I don't want to go back there. My purse and keys are in their apt. What should I do?"
I'm still laughing so hard my stomach hurt. "I don't know. I wouldn't go back there either. Just spy on them to see when they leave, get your stuff and come back home. I would never want to see them again. I can't believe you did that!"
Obviously, she went back and everything was honky dory. Nate actually went to the 7eleven when she was on the phone with me to tell her it was okay and not to be embarassed. He apologized for the toilet and for not warning her that it didn't flush very well. Now, when he told me his version of the story... he was laughing so hard he was crying. Priceless.
***After re-reading that, it may not seem that funny to all of you. But, just imagine being 21, just starting a relationship and then overflowing his toilet to the point the entire apt floor is covered in diarrhea water and poo particles. That would be the single most embarassing moment for many 21 year olds....at least up to that moment in time.
Now do you think its funny?
This particular story does not involve me, it involves one of my most favoritest people in the whole entire universe. I call her "Ghost". I have to write about her because I miss her so much and I honestly think she may be dead (I'm not kidding), but that's a whole other story for one of my more depressing moods. Since I miss the guts out of her the very first thing that comes to mind is the one I'm gonna share. So, get ready to laugh so hard, snot may come shooting out your nose and hit your screen.
It was New Year's Eve. We were 21. Done with our prowl for the guys. Unsuccessful night. We end our night at a little cafe on PCH in Seal Beach. We're laughing at something, as usual. I see two funny looking guys watching my pal. Which wasn't unusual. Everywhere she went she caught the eye of some guy.....sometimes good guys but often times creepy guys (she didn't know how to be mean and I quickly learned how to be very bitchy and blunt hanging out with her. She didn't have the creepy guy radar). And, of course, they come over to us and want to "get to know us". They end up being very nice guys and my friend actually ended up being head over heels in love with the funnier looking of the two. They end up having a 5 year relationship.
However, at the beginning, just a few weeks to be exact, they got off to an interesting start. Ghost did not have a job when they met so she would go down to San Diego all the time to "hang out" with him. She would be gone for days. She would call me periodically to tell me she was okay etc etc. One day when I was at work I got the following phone call.
Me: "Doctor's ------------- this is Holly, how may I help you?"
Ghost: "Pee! Holy shit! You're not gonna believe what just happened to me!" side note: she calls me "Pee" because that was the first initial of my maiden name. But, when she'd write me a note, bday card whatever she always spelled it p-e-e. She starts crying and laughing at the same time.
"What? Are you alright?"
"Yes. No. I don't know. Things with Nate are over."
Very surprised. "Why? What happened?"
"I'm at the pay phone at 7eleven right now. I can't believe this. Nate was at work and Mike (Nate's roommate) just left to go surfing and I was dying to go poo but I couldn't do that while Mike was there. So, when he left I went into the bathroom to go poo. It was diarrhea. So, I didn't flush often cuz its diarrhea. I go to flush and it over flowed EVERYWHERE!! I went to turn the water thingy off on the toilet and it BROKE!!! It wouldn't stop. Diarrhea and poo particles were everywhere!!!. It went all the way out to the front door and into the kitchen. And, a little bit in their rooms. One of them had board shorts on the floor and now they're soaked in my poo!!"
I'm dying of laughter at this point. I can see it all unfold. Let me just tell you they had the tiniest apt. I have ever seen. I don't know how to convey to you how small it was. It was just small. The whole apt floor was linoleum, no carpet. "What did you do? Did you clean it up or did you just leave?"
"I just started cleaning it up when Mike walked in. He looked at me with utter amazement. I don't think he knew that girls shit until now. He was just standing in the doorway with poo water EVERYWHERE when Nate walked up behind him. I started crying and ran out the door. Now I'm at 7eleven. I don't want to go back there. My purse and keys are in their apt. What should I do?"
I'm still laughing so hard my stomach hurt. "I don't know. I wouldn't go back there either. Just spy on them to see when they leave, get your stuff and come back home. I would never want to see them again. I can't believe you did that!"
Obviously, she went back and everything was honky dory. Nate actually went to the 7eleven when she was on the phone with me to tell her it was okay and not to be embarassed. He apologized for the toilet and for not warning her that it didn't flush very well. Now, when he told me his version of the story... he was laughing so hard he was crying. Priceless.
***After re-reading that, it may not seem that funny to all of you. But, just imagine being 21, just starting a relationship and then overflowing his toilet to the point the entire apt floor is covered in diarrhea water and poo particles. That would be the single most embarassing moment for many 21 year olds....at least up to that moment in time.
Now do you think its funny?
posted @1:02 PM
6 Comments:
Oh, I think it was funny. And you're right, I have really missed the poo stories! You and debbie of "Fresh Air Lover" seem to have a lot of them.
I've got a similar story, though it was not poo, and it was not as severe... I might have to write that up.
That is hilarious. I want to know who this person is...and you will tell me. That is so embarrassing!! I would have DIED.
Howdy! Thanks for popping by my blog today! What a first post to "meet" you on! Hahaha. I died laughing. Out loud. My kids came running in to ask what was so funny. I couldn't TELL them, of course, because Moms aren't supposed to find poop funny... But oh my gosh, this was hilarious. I LOVE that she ran away to a 7eleven and then called you about it. HAHAHAHAHA.
That's a shame. And hilarious.
Okay, that is funny and completely embarrassing. And I wouldn't have to be 21 either. Even now I would be completely mortified!
As per your comment on my blog: To tell you the truth I haven't read many books on the topic. Does that make me terrible? I started but found some of it really depressing. I can not believe that my children will be walking around with this huge hole in their soul due to circumstances they had nothing to do with. I have to believe that God will work his miracles, and that is what I find missing in most literature on the topic.
I have had many, many conversations with people who have been adopted or have some experience with it. (That is another amazing thing about adopting. As soon as people know about it, they come out of the woodwork! People that you have known a long time will suddenly open up about their adoption, or their sibling's adoption, or even putting a baby up for adoption.) Those conversations have been the most informative, the most helpful, and interestingly they are all very different.
I could talk a long time on this topic (clearly) but I will stop myself now!
that is crazy! i can't say i would've gone back, even for the purse...
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