New Beginnings & Poop

It all started this week. As Bubba put it "this is the first day of the rest of our life." I have said in the past, in not so many words, that we are in a "rut". Not our relationship...all is swell there. We have just been in the same, monotonous routine for the last few years and neither one of us are happy about that. So, to make a very long story short, we decided to adopt rather than go through IVF, I decided to go back to school and Bubba is starting his own business hopefully by the beginning of next month.

I started my new part time job last Saturday at Urgent Care and I started school this past Monday. I like both. However, I am exhausted. The days I work and go to school are forever long. Last night I got home from work around 9pm and I couldn't get to my bed fast enough. I know it'll take a few weeks to get in the swing of things, but I'm wiped out. Today is my "Saturday". I have no work and no school. I work tomorrow....I don't like working on the weekend. Today I slept until 11am. I know I'm a lazy ass. But, I feel soooo much better. I might actually be able to concentrate when I do my homework later. I'm still in my pj's catching up on everyone's blogs. The only things I've accomplished so far are brushing my teeth and pouring myself a coke...with lots of ice. Jealous? I know Kelly is.

Now as promised (sorry it took so long), the poop story. I'm just gonna say up front, this is not about me. You know I have no shame when it comes to telling very embarassing stories about myself. Check out my archives if you don't believe me. Anyhoo, this is about a friend of a friend.
My old co-worker and still pal, Squat, was reading her email at work one day. Out of the blue she started laughing very hard. Once she was able to control herself she had me read the email her friend sent her. (Squat, I know you read my blog sometimes, so you will have to make corrections to this story if I leave something out in the comments.) Basically her friend just got back from her honeymoon in Puerto Vallarta. She got food poisoning= not a very fun honeymoon. She went on and on about her diarrhea and vomiting. The worst/funniest part was when she was talking about their last night in Puerto Vallarta. She and her new husband were laying in bed, she was exhausted from all the pooing. She needed to fart and thought it was safe since the diarrhea had kinda subsided. So she did. She got more than what she bargained for and sharted. Husband next to her and all. She screamed. He rolled over to see what was wrong and rolled right into her poop. I was dying at this point of the email. He did what any nice, young, new husband is suppose to do. He picked up his mortified, crying wife in her poopy pj's and all, and carried her into the bathroom. He ran a nice bath for her and helped her get out of her poopy pj's. Squat's friend ended the email saying..."now I know he really loves me." And they lived happily ever after.
Squat and I were dying of laughter. We were both engaged at the time. I would have died if this happened to me on my honeymoon and Squat felt the same way. We were both imagining our future husbands picking us up in our poopy pjs and taking us to the bathroom. This would never happen. I know for a fact that Bubba would have screamed like a little girl if he rolled over into my poop. And, would've proceeded to laugh non stop at me covered in my own poo. Squat's husband would've done the same. We were imagining her friend and hubby lying in bed, when all of the sudden her friend sharts and poop fires out of her bumhole onto her husband. Imagine it like a cartoon.....very funny!!