Moving Is Hell!

It's true, it is absolute hell. Hate very second of it. Good thing the moving fairy came and did about 90% of the packing. Why am I complaining then right? Because, that is what I do....bitch, bitch, bitch!! Well, we are here now...all moved in. Not unpacked, but we are all under one roof now with all of our crap-ola. Good times. And, yes, my Mom has been over everyday trying to help me unpack. But, we get sidetracked with things like the washing machine flooding and ruining my brand new carpet. And, then once that was under control the refrigerator springs a little more than a leak. Good times, good times. Ahhh...moving. Gotta love it.

Grady has done great through the transition, so I'm very happy about that. His sleeping habits went to crap when Brad was gone, but now they are back to normal. Praise Allah! It is nice to be back and close to family and friends. We are in the city that Brad and I met in, dated and spent the first 10 months of our marriage in. It's obviously different this time, but its nice to be back. We are a little homesick though. Which is weird. For years, So Cal was home. Now its...who knows where. It doesn't really matter as long as I'm with my little family.

I will say that I'm apprehensive to starting fresh here again. I'm referring to my new ward (to my non Mormon friends....this is what we call our congregation in our church. I realize that is sounds like a mental institution..sometimes I wonder if that is by accident) and new friends (hopefully). I was in my little bubble up North...everyone knew I am infertile and that Grady is adopted. Now I feel like I need to explain things to people. I know I don't have to and its not expected of me either. I know that nobody needs to know besides his pediatrician. But, how do I not? Adoption is a "dying art" here in America. How do I not let people know how truly amazing it is. How it has blessed my life tremendously. How I would not be a mother without it. How amazing birth mothers are. How it is not a negative thing. How these birth mothers CHOOSE to PLACE their babies in a family not GIVE THEM UP. I feel, as an adoptive mother, that this is my duty, my job. I WANT to educate people about adoption. If I could I would travel the country, the world educating people about adoption. My problem is my mouth. I have said time and time again that I have a problem getting my thoughts out my mouth coherently. I'm afraid that if someone says something to me that I feel is "stupid" or inappropriate, I will have a problem. I lack tact when someone takes me off guard. More than likely, I won't have a problem with anyone saying anything lame.......I just need to prepare myself...just in case. I'm afraid that if one person ticks me off with a stupid comment, then I will shut down and then nobody will want to ask me questions or talk to me about adoption. Somehow I will master telling someone to "go to hell" in my head, while smiling and acting as if all is well...oh, and not giving it away with my facial expression.

With all that being said (or typed)...I'm ready to do the paperwork for #2. That's how much I love adoption. Can't wait to do it again! I don't look forward to the lame ass paperwork, fingerprinting, home inspections, background checks, letters of recommendation, classes etc. etc. But, I'm excited for the adoption experience again. The whole process works and it is truly amazing. I know the majority of people don't get that...but it you've adopted you know what I mean. There is nothing like another woman choosing you to parent her child. It is a bond that not many get the privilege to know. It is crazy to me that I can look at Grady and have to remind myself that he did not come out of me and a split second before that I was thinking of his Rachel.....it doesn't make me sad, but instead makes me feel so lucky and blessed.