Drowning

My ass has been handed to me or school is kicking my ass? Take your pick....either way you get the idea.  It has been a month and I've had a few mini breakdowns.  I try not to let Bubba see otherwise he may start to worry.  I really don't like being away from Grady even though he makes me want to pull my hair out strand by strand sometimes.  I don't like that someone else gets to hear all of his funniness.  At least its Brad who is with him otherwise I'd really have a hard time.  Mary helps out too...but in the month I've been in school, she's only had him three times...not too bad.  Studying sucks serious butt.  My self diagnosed A.D.D. kicks into high gear when I attempt studying.  When I get home from school I try to focus on Grady until he goes to bed and then I read/study until midnight or so.....every.freaking.night.  I feel like I'm barely surviving.  I forgot how much gets put to the side when I'm in school and have too many things going on and I don't like it at all.  For example, I cleaned my bathroom for the first time in three weeks last week...that's gross.  My room is still waiting to be cleaned.  I've gone groccery shopping one time since school started.  We eat out a lot right now...I don't like that.  Once a week is nice, but every night? Ugh.  Brad will do the shopping if I make a list...but I don't even want to think about that or planning out our meals.  I do the laundry a few times a week only because we run out of clean clothes.  It may/may not get put away though.  I do not like living in chaos.  I keep telling myself that soon I'll find a routine and it'll get easier...I'm just waiting for that to happen.  It needs to happen soon before I give up.